The Wife of a Cyclist

The Tour - Part 4: Bearer of Gifts

2011-07-31T04:15:00.000+10:00

CH is a likeable guy (most of the time) and is certainly a yes man – he will do anything for you. The only person, it seems, that he has learnt to say no to, is myself. Along his travels he has managed to make many friends and acquaintances which has resulted in his facebook friend list multiplying rapidly.

The lead up to the tour saw CH’s inbox fill with messages from people who were also going to the tour and were hoping to catch up with CH. This was a good stroke to CH's ego and an easy task in theory, but when you are amidst the crowds at the tour, you begin to wonder how you would ever find each other? Eventually on our last day at the tour we were able to co-ordinate a catch up with some of the many Aussies there supporting Cadel.

One wonderful man came bearing gifts and was wise enough to know that the gift had to be immediately placed in my hands and not touch CH’s if there was any chance of me enjoying the experience of…………………….a Tim Tam! Of course CH is crafty when it comes to food – he has evolved beyond normal human capabilities to develop supernatural skills in hunting and gathering for food – so it didn’t take long before he got his hands on them and cracked the seal. And there we stood, our little Aussie party enjoying the delectable and very brief experience of Tim Tams in France at the Tour. Life's good!

The Tour - Part 3: The Long Trek

2011-07-31T02:09:00.000+10:00

Day three saw us heading for Alp D'Huez! We were all fairly excited to be going to this part of the tour - some were excited about cycling up Alp D'Huez and others were excited about the awesome atmosphere!

The plan was for the ones who weren't cycling to catch a ski lift up the top and for the cyclists to ride up and meet us. To execute this plan, we parked the car on a neighboring mountain and planned to make this our departure point. The cyclists plans went swimmingly as they soaked up the glory of all the onlookers lining the routes of Alp D'Huez. We, on the other hand discovered we had a long trek ahead of us, after discovering there were no ski lifts. Luckily there was a solid stream of people all walking in one direction, which was a good indication that we were heading in the right direction.

Along the way, we managed to catch our first glimpse of the winding road of Alp D'Huez...........

And saw some desperate attempts at pitching a tent...........

As our road spat us out onto the climb of Alp D'Huez my first sight was this row of bottoms nicely perched on this ledge......

As we walked on a little further I was amazed by what surrounded me. It was just incredible to see how many people were prepared to go to huge lengths to watch and support this race! The mountain oozed joy and celebration as people sought out a space to sit along the side of the road, amidst all the bikes and people.

Supportive messages were painted on the road and people of all ages, shapes and sizes chose to ride up that monster of a mountain.

CH was pretty chuffed to have tackled the famous climb!

I was so impressed at the enthusiasm and passion that I saw on Alp D’Huez.

Despite Holland putting on a fairly impressive show on bend 12, in my books the best dressed was the Aussie in full 60’s Australian sporting tracksuit complete with a Merv Hughes moustache. He was flanked on either side by Hasselhoff wannabes, who were out showing their support in nothing but their Budgie smugglers. Now nothing says Australia like Budgie smugglers and thongs does it?

Eventually the wait was over and the cyclists came through, parting the crowds along their way.

As the last of the Tour riders rolled through, we began to prepare for our journey home...........

Of course what goes up, must come down and all of those supporters lining the mountain, had to get back down after the race was over. As a result, our short 1.5 hour drive home became a very slow 5 hour drive. Check in time -1:00am - The sight of our beds were so greatly appreciated that evening/morning!

The Tour - Part 2: The Battle for the Freebies!

2011-07-31T01:34:00.000+10:00

The caravan coming through was an incredible experience. I would say it is one of those moments where people’s true colours shine through, as people literally dive for the free stuff thrown out to the masses. On the first day we were situated next to a couple who were well skilled in retrieval of free things and we were dismally untrained in the battle field of the caravan.

Once you switch on and begin to get competitive, you then have to battle with the parties that have the ‘bait’. These are the people that are either dressed up, waving a flag or have children – these are the parties that attracted the most ‘giveaways’. Despite going to great lengths to try and get our hands on some Aussie paraphernalia before we came, we were unable to find any in Germany (strange, I know!) and we are all childless, which meant we had no bait and lucked out on the freebies on the first day. CH almost wept as he saw all of the children dive for the Nesquik and Haribo samples, and all he walked away with was a sample of washing powder.

However, on Alp D’Huez the Freebie Gods shined upon us, and a crew of people decided that they wanted to hang their marketing banner directly behind us – We later discovered that this very conveniently worked as a net, which stopped the freebies going any further beyond us. Needless to say we brought home the mother load on that day, hats, t-shirts, keyrings, stubby coolers, beanies, lanyards, magnets and, much to CH's delight, more washing powder!

The cyclists model their fabulous hats which they scored from the Caravan. As you can see there was some quality merchandise being distributed. Whether or not it was worth diving for is still open to debate.

The Tour - Part 1: A simple Matter of Space

2011-07-31T01:19:00.000+10:00

Our first big challenge was, of course, to get there. We got off to an interesting start......

In preparation for our early start on the road we picked up our hire car the evening before. CH and I were travelling with another couple and naturally, the two cyclists wanted to take their bikes, which was fine as we all know how a cyclist gets if they don’t ride for five days, however as we picked up the car, us non-cyclists couldn't help but notice there were no roof racks, and a quick calculation told us that we were not going to fit two bikes, four people and luggage into this car. CH & his co-cyclist begged to differ, and assured us that it would be fine. The case was dropped until the morning of departure, when the packing began.

It was like watching a tetris game happen as things were so carefully and specifically placed. After much trial and error we discovered that the bikes will fit………..so long as parts could spill over and encroach on the already limited space in the back seat. So, you can guess who ended up nursing two wheels for the entire trip – not exactly what you want to be doing for a ten hour drive, but, of course there was no negotiating the presence of the bikes. And so as we drove through the most spectacular country side, the lucky ones in the back seat managed to catch glimpses as we peeked out between the spokes.

Everywhere you turned there seemed to be a bike, or part of, staring back at you.

After ten hours, we finally pulled up at our humble abode for the evening and whilst the non cyclists couldn't wait to escape the bikes that had invaded our back seat all day, the cyclists couldn't wait to get on their bikes. So at the end of day one our parties divided as the smart ones unwound with cheese and wine admiring the view of the mountains from the balcony, and the others admired the views from their saddles, with a hurt face on.

We made it!!!

2011-07-30T23:52:00.000+10:00

Le Tour de France has been a big part of my life ever since CH became a big part of my life. The tour always means late nights – thanks to the great time difference between Australia and Europe - and watching CH as he struggles to balance his life and mainly his cycling around watching the tour.

So, if you are in Europe during the month of July and you are a cyclist, there is only one place you would want to be – following the tour. This year we were fortunate enough to actually be able to go and watch it live! CH was beside himself about going, particularly with an Aussie rumoured to win. I, on the other hand was excited to be going, but also couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty, as I knew there were so many cycling fanatics who would appreciate being in my position so much more than I was – but, what’s a girl to do? So, I went and I was determined to get the most out of it that I could!

The following posts will cover parts of our trip, as I saw it. I know that CH has a slightly different version to mine, but you all know who to believe.............

2011-03-31T22:44:00.000+10:00

When CH first approached me about the possibility of moving overseas he did so with his tail between his legs.

Moving overseas has been something I have been passionate about doing for a long time. I had tried to feed this idea to CH over the years in some subtle (daydreaming out loud about my favourite international destinations) and some not so subtle ways (Opening a savings account called ‘Moving Overseas’ – there weren’t many pennies that found their way into this account!) No matter how I tried to persuade CH to move overseas, he would always respond with some dismal excuse about it not being the right time, we can’t afford it etc etc.

So I can’t imagine what went through his mind when the team he was riding for offered him the opportunity to ride overseas, which in turn meant a move overseas. After years of rejecting the idea, he now had to come and sell it to me, but in the context of cycling!

As he broached the subject a wicked grin flashed across my face, as I saw the potential in this situation – Do I make him suffer? How much should I make him beg? Luckily for him, I was feeling generous that day (and very excited about the prospect of exploring a new country) that I let it slide………………for now anyway.

Some marriage advice........

2011-03-31T21:44:00.000+10:00

As CH and I sorted through all of our belongings in preparation for our big move to Germany I came across a stash of cards from our wedding. Among them I found this little gem and just had to share it.

If only we had taken this advice......................

Wandering Eyes

2011-03-04T08:36:00.000+10:00

CH tagged along to a gym class the other night, which I attend with a few friends. As we were chatting outside the gym afterwards, my friend notices that CH’s attention is wavering and his gaze keeps wandering to something behind him. Assuming there must be an attractive sort walking by, my friend continues the conversation, whilst he subtly turns to check her out, only there are no people behind him at all. He turns back to our conversation, looks at Chris and say ‘It’s the bikes isn’t it? Usually if a guy is distracted from a conversation and is watching something behind, I assume there is a gorgeous woman to look at, but I turned around, and there were just bikes, rows and rows of them. That’s what you are looking at isn’t it?'

CH had to confess that, in fact he wasn't checking out a good looking bird walking past, but the bikes. I guess I have nothing to worry about then?

A Family Affair

2011-01-24T13:02:00.000+10:00

A combination of the Festive Season and Chris and I leaving the country for a year, has meant we have been fortunate enough to spend loads of time with our wonderful families.

As we travelled from house to house, I began to notice that the cycling fever was beginning to spread to the outskirts of our family.

Christmas time saw gifts of bikes given to our nieces and nephews, which we complimented with a helmet for each of them. Of course I was over the moon about this, because it meant that CH was finally eager to become involved in the sometimes difficult task of gift shopping. As soon as he saw helmets on the 'to buy' list he was onto it.

CH has managed to convince his Father to also try his luck on a bike, which he is loving, apart form his uncomfortable helmet - so another helmet was jotted down on the Christmas wish list, which CH promptly took care of.
It was then on to Sydney for me, where I was greeted by my brother in law in a full Lycra kit after his commute home form work!! I couldn't help but have a glance to see if the legs were shaved (they weren't - no doubt next time they will be hairless though - he has begun the slippery slope into the depths of cycling culture).
Last but not least, after running alongside my nephew while he zipped about on his balance bike, he then joined us for dinner wearing only the essentials - knickers and a helmet.

Oh how proud CH would be!

A little bit of Friendly Competition

2010-10-18T21:34:00.000+10:00

There once was a time when I only had to compete with the bikes, for time with CH. That was, until the iphone was invented. This small piece of technology has practically been grafted onto CH's hand, only to be ripped away when it needs to be charged, or, when he is riding - at which point the iphone takes a back seat, in the pocket of his jersey. CH is NEVER without his iphone. It has been fascinating to see him develop a whole new addiction whilst still maintaining his cycling addiction.

So curious was I, as to what CH found all encompassing about the iphone, that I decided to have a peek at it. And as I scrolled through cycling app, after cycling app, after cycling app, I began to see why there was such a strong connection to his beloved iphone. It was bursting at the seam with cycling apps, It was his tool for organising rides via text messages and he could access any cycling website whenever and wherever he wanted to. The iphone was the hub of his cycling life. It is the glue that holds it all together.

So, as I peeled back the layers I realised that the bike and the iphone weren't competing for CH's time, they were working harmoniously together to create some sort of super power that I will now need to try and conquer if I am to see CH at all anymore.

The Perfect Gift

2010-10-18T21:07:00.000+10:00

Recently some gorgeous friends of ours celebrated their anniversary. On the eve of their anniversary weekend, S had just discovered that T had organised a surprise for their weekend and was elated by the fact that her hubby had taken the time to organise something special for them on their anniversary.

As I shared this story with CH over dinner that night, we began to speculate about what romantic gesture T must have planned for them. CH thought for a moment before exclaiming - 'I know! I bet he is taking them to do the Brisbane to Gold Coast ride!' CH was deadly serious about this being the ultimate thing you could possibly do for someone you love.

Ahhhh, CH - such a romantic.

Local Newspaper Famous

2010-09-25T18:10:00.000+10:00

CH has escaped the mundaneness of everyday existence and fled south for the 'Tour of the Murray River' for the past week. Our daily phone contact, which is squeezed in between stages, bicycle maintenance, eating and sleeping (not much time left over once you fit all of this into a day) allows me to hear CH whinge about how sore he is and how exhausted he is, but underneath it all he is truly happy.

Today the phone call was to share exciting news, with CH ringing to tell me his photo had made it into the local paper. I assumed it was for cycling and asked what stage it was from? CH responds, with enthusiasm .........'No, it wasn't for cycling. It was a photo of me smashing down a Vanilla Slice at the Great Australian Vanilla Slice competition!!!!'
Of course, if he doesn't get in the paper for cycling, eating is his next favourite hobby

This clever little town of Ouyen has organised the event to coincide with a flood of cyclists hitting town, as bakers from all across Australia battle for the title of Best Vanilla Slice in the country. I am sure CH was only too happy to oblige in doing some taste testing.

The Michaelangelo

2010-09-05T17:58:00.000+10:00

In a desperate attempt to create a little more space in our house, for the constant flow of visitors that filter through our front door, we are trying to congregate all of the bikes in one common area. Of course, when you assemble them all together you have a little 'wow' moment when you realise just how many bikes two poeple can own! So in creating clever storage solutions, CH brought home this bike rack - 'The Michaelangelo'.

Once assembled, and safely nestling two fixies, CH stands back to admire his handywork, and says - 'You know why it's called Michaelangelo storage? Because it's carefully holding works of art'.

The works of art

New Additions and Battles Won!

2010-09-05T17:29:00.000+10:00

Many Apologies for the lack of posts over the past few weeks! Life has been slightly hectic, hence my extremely neglectful behaviour towards the blog!

Since I last posted, we have welcomed yet another bike into our ever growing fleet. This spunky commuter has been faithfully getting me to work each day for the past few weeks. I uptraded my old commuter bike for this fabulous bike adn it feels amazing to ride! I finally have panniers - which means I have rid my journey of a great bulky backpack!! So, with no backpack on and this super new, super light (well - it's light compared to what I ride - I know CH will debate this and proclaim - 'It's heavy!') fabulous bike, I feel like I practically fly to work and back - It feels so easy now!

I have also finally won the battle of cool! After much debate, CH finally admitted defeat and surprised me with this fabulous new seat for Old Red. Goodbye Flame seat! Hello Funk!

Rainy Days

2010-05-29T16:32:00.006+10:00

CH greets this drizzly morning with 'Stupid rain!'
Knowing that he would get soaking wet, be riding in slippery conditions and his bike would get dirty, he still chooses to go out riding.

After arriving home looking like a drowned rat, he then spends the next three hours pulling apart, cleaning and rebuilding his bike.

The rest of the day........well that is spent whinging about the rain and the impact it had on his cycling.........yet I guarantee he will repeat this cycle again, and again, and again.

CH and his Handyman Skills (or lack of)

2010-05-29T14:58:00.006+10:00

CH is a fabulous cyclist - there is no doubt about it. He is dedicated and passionate about the sport and to be as dedicated as he is takes a lot of time. Much of CH's time is spent on the bike, talking about the bike, watching bikes, racing, driving to a race or hanging out with other cyclists.

With so much time being dedicated to cycling, CH does tend to lack in other areas. These cracks in his expertise only appear in the midst of a crisis such as the one that follows......

A few weeks ago our kitchen tap began leaking around the base. Pointing this out to CH, I assumed that he would be able to fix it, or at least look into it. A few weeks went by and still there had been no action with the tap, despite multiple reminders. I offered to call the landlord and arrange a plumber. Horrified, CH declined my offer, as he doesn't like his manhood challenged with the suggestion that someone else may have to come in and do a job that he feels he should be able to do. I left it at this, hoping that the suggestion of a plumber might prod him in the direction of fixing the tap............No such luck.

This little leak in the tap all came to a head one Saturday morning while I was filling up the kettle, only to find that the tap wouldn't turn off on it's own. With water gushing everywhere I called CH to the scene. He looked at it, obviously confused about what to do. I would love to know what thoughts ran through his head before he finally blurted out 'I need to go to the toilet'. Obviously needing to buy some time while he thought of a strategy to avoid the disaster which had occurred, he scurried off, down to the bathroom. Whilst he pondered his next move I fashioned a temporary contraption which stopped the tap gushing out water, yet also made the tap unusable.

CH finally showed his face - looked at the tap and said "I have to go - I need to ride to work. Don't touch that tap today okay!" With that great bit of advice he took his beloved bike on a journey far far away form the tap problem that he couldn't solve.

Finding a spare moment amidst my day I dedicated some time to researching how I could fix the tap. Unfortunatly, I didn't find the time to actually fix the tap, but I am armed with knowledge which I passed onto CH later that evening. CH was skeptical about the information I gave him and after scoffing at my findings he challenged a few facts I shared with him. At this point I gave up talking about it and planned to fix the tap myself the following day.

The next day CH had beaten me to it, and I find that he has managed to get our neighbour down to fix the tap. As I listened in on the conversation I found CH rattling off all of the details I had shared with him the day before! Yes, the ones he had scoffed at only hours before. I couldn't believe it! He was obviuosly feeling the need to show that he does have the knowledge, just not the time to fix this small problem of a leaking tap.

Finally, Thanks to our fabulous neighbour, we are back to having a functioning kitchen!

CH has gone back to what he does best - cycling.

And I have learnt the lesson to bypass CH for all future plumbing situations and either do them myself or get a professional in.

Lazy Monday

2010-04-05T18:57:00.004+10:00

The last day of a fabulous four days off! CH and I decided to celebrate the first half of it by going for a Mountain Bike ride. We had heard rumours that a local park held some MTB tracks in the back of it. After taking the longest, yet least hilly route there, we were pleasently surprised to find a maze of tracks hidden behind this suburban park.

After a ride through and failing to end up where planned on several occasions - thanks to poor signage, we were finally spat out onto a road (both of which neither of us recognised) and were then left to navigate our way to a coffee shop.

With both of us being avid coffee fans and desperate for a cup of the good stuff, finding a coffee shop was an easy task. Finding one that was open - not so easy.

Coffee Shop 1 - CLOSED

Coffee Shop 2 - CLOSED

Coffee Shop 3 - CLOSED

Coffee Shop 4 - CLOSED

CH was lost, unsure what to do. A strange feeling no doubt, for one who ALWAYS ends a ride with a coffee.

Our quest to find an open coffee shop led us close to home, so we decide to stop in, clean ourselves up, swap bikes (CH's idea) and take the fixies out to hunt down more coffee shops that may be open.

On the road again, and we finally strike some luck - an open coffee shop!

Our hearts and tastebuds rejoice as we park the fixies out the front. CH puffs out his chest with pride as some passer by comments on his handy work with the bikes.

We are finally fed and given caffiene and I instantly become a more pleasent person to be around once that caffiene starts pumping through my body. As I sip, I watch CH inhale his waffles and skull his coffee. This man is not satisfied though - he needs more, and he suggests we continue riding to the next open coffee shop for round two.

Round two, and we fill our bellies a little more. We leave feeling very greatful to those who worked on Easter Monday as we cruise home on the fixies.

Everything is a Competition

2010-04-04T17:04:00.006+10:00

With a race being held up on the glorious Sunshine Coast Hinterland today, a friend and I thought we may as well head up and enjoy the glorious sunshine.

After the race it was the usual mandatory stop at a Bakery for a refuel and some caffeine, before heading up to Kondililla Falls.

After a swim in the ice bath that was Kondililla Falls it was time to do the trek back to the cars. I was the first to be organised and began to lead the way. Trouble is, being with a group of cyclists means they cannot handle having someone in front of them. Absolutely everything becomes a competition and the walk back to the cars was no exception.

So, after a wee while on the front, I hear some fast approaching footsteps from behind, accompanied by a commentary.

'She is in a breakaway, but Cycling Buddy is coming up from behind......and he has bridged the gap!

This was just the very beginning of an endless vocabulary of cycling commentary the whole way back, as we fought for our positions, battling slow walkers, sight-seers and a few injuries.

Cycling lingo was flying through the air as our 'peleton' ascended to the car park.

Knowing that cyclists hate to lose - I very kindly let them all overtake (except CH - who claims he wasn't even racing). I don't think I could have handled the car trip home if I hadn't.

Doper

2010-04-03T18:23:00.006+10:00

A friend of mine recently found herself in a spot of bother when she broke her ankle whilst embracing the world of Roller Derby.

As part of her recovery, she was required to inject herself in order to avoid her blood clotting. Knowing that we have a sharps bin (purchased upon receiving the news that CH has Diabetes Type 1 - of which his mother is convinced that cycling caused??) she handed the needles over to me to dispose of, as I was hopping in the car to leave her house.

Becoming so engrossed in practicing my singing on the way home, I forget all about the syringes laying around in the back seat of the car.

The next person to take out the car is CH himself - to a bike race of course.

Bike races are great places to show off your new lightweight wheels, your awesome DI2, but it is no place to have syringes laying about.

With CH's posse swanning about the car, it didn't take long before the syringes were noticed.

Cycling Buddy 1: 'Here's the reason you've been riding so well lately - Check this out!!!'

Cycling Buddy 2: 'Someone call Doping Control!'

Cycling Buddy 3: 'Can I get some?'

CH, also unclear as to why there was a pile of used syringes in the back of our car, couldn't explain his way out of that one. Needless to say, I copped twenty questions when he arrived home that afternoon.

The Helmet Measurement

2010-02-20T07:27:00.004+10:00

CH has discovered a new form of measurement within our household............

After days of nagging me to give him a haircut, CH came to me in desperation with his helmet on. As he points to his head he says 'Look at this! My hair is so long it pokes through my helmet! That means I really need a haircut. I can even see it in my shadow when I am riding.'

Tim Tamtation Take Two

2010-02-07T13:11:00.003+10:00

After multiple coughing fits lastnight I was beginning to worry that CH was coming down with something. Upon closer observation, however, I find that the coughing fits only happen when CH opens the freezer. Trying to figure out the connection I recall placing a packet of Tim Tams in the freezer a few weeks ago. The coughing was simply to mask the noise of the Tim Tam packet while CH smuggled them away one by one.

Hoover

2010-01-30T17:19:00.006+10:00

Due to an upcoming big race, CH has had to increase his training remarkably. This means riding before work, after work, to work, from work, during work and the occassional 3:00am rise and shine to go for a ride. He is squeezing every last moment out of every day to ride.

This means that sightings of CH in his natural habitat (our house)are quiet rare these days. While I don't see him in the flesh too often there are some very clear indicators that he is alive and well. Some of these indicators are....

1. There are 'lycra only' loads of washing appearing on the clothes line on an almost daily basis.

2. CH's mail can be found open and littered across the kitchen bench of a morning.

3. New bicycle parts continue to appear throughout the house.

However the most noticeable sign is that every time I open the fridge 90% of the food I bought the previous day has disappeared. I have done about 4 grocery shops in the last six days and each time I think, surely this will last us till the end of the week, only to find it is mostly gone by the following day. Surely one man couldn't consume such copious amounts of food alone? Could he? This question was answered recently as I was treated to a live show of 'The Hoover' in action......................

I was home alone one Thursday evening, when I saw the familiar flashing light roll up our driveway and knew that CH was home. He enters the house, puts the bike away and makes a beeline for the fridge, retrieving armfuls of food. I watch in amazement and within minutes I see a weeks worth of fruit disappear into CH's mouth. Like a vacuum cleaner to a filthy floor, CH vacuumed up 6 bananas, 2 mangoes, 2 apples, 10 lychees, 3 peaches, 2 nectarines and some blueberries. Whilst slurping in that last little blueberry, he turns to me and says 'So, whats for dinner?'

And so I learn that the more kilometres that appear on CH's bike odometer, the more dollars appear on the bottom of our grocery docket. A simple equation really.

The Passport Saga

2010-01-30T16:34:00.006+10:00

It always fascinates me just how much of a motivator cycling is for CH. It's like this magic word you dangle in front of him, like a carrot, to get things done. I can ask, encourage, suggest and hint for something to be done and get zero results, yet as soon as cycling is involved things miraculously happen. And they happen with enthusiasm and gusto!

I have been 'encouraging' CH to renew his passport for quiet some time now and it always gets put in the 'too hard' basket for a few reasons
1. CH would have to actually make a trip to the post office to get a form - too hard.
2. CH would then have to fill in said form - way too hard. and
3. CH would then have to be organised enough to arrange an appointment to hand all the appropriate documentation in - definitely too hard.

As you can see the task is almost impossible and this meant updating the passport was out of the question. So I had given up on this passport dream, comforting myself with the knowledge that I had done my bit and CH would be the one suffering the consequences as I stood in the queue at the airport waving goodbye to the passportless him.

However just as I began to resign myself to the fact that operation passport will not happen.........CH was presented with an opportunity to race in an international race. It only took a single suggestion from a cycling BFF for CH to get over-the-top enthusiastic about accomplishing his long forgotten passport task. And the 'too hard' task was completed in the minimal amount of time, without any fuss.

Today I sat and smiled through gritted teeth as he read out the email he had just received stating that 'your passport application was processed and was on it's way.' Then finishes this off with the comment 'Lucky Cycling Buddy reminded me about getting my passport hey?'

Oh so lucky! Guess I will just always have to wonder what his face would have looked like as I jetsetted off solo?

n+1

2009-12-31T06:51:00.003+10:00

I recently read a friends facebook status as follows and thought some of you may appreciate it..........

"n + 1 is how many bikes one person should own. Where the value of "n" equals the number of bikes one already owns."

CH Definitely lives by this rule. In fact, I am pretty sure his equation would be closer to n+4.
Always 'needing' another bike.

CH the Media Tart

2009-10-20T19:34:00.002+10:00

CH earned the label of Media tart after 4 media appearances in a month. The story unfolds as follows...............

The month of the media tart all began when CH recently competed in a Tour, which spanned over a week in another state. CH and his team mates managed to make it into the local paper…..however I am not sure that it was for the reasons they wanted. The article mentioned their team for how ‘out of place’ they looked as they sat in a dainty café wearing Lycra, sipping tea and nibbling scones.

Strike two for the media tart occurred when a friend of ours asked if he could model some T-shirts for their upcoming business (watch this space for a preview to these awesome products). CH’s first thought – the bike, as he responds with ‘Do they want me to pose on my bike?’ followed by the quote ‘I charge more for nude shots’. Oh to be in demand like this!

Strike Three for the month of the Media Tart involved what CH referred to as an ‘Emergency Photo Shoot’ for a bicycle company. CH was called at the last minute to spend a day out with photographers getting shots for an upcoming ad campaign. Like his ego needed any more stroking at this stage?

The month of the media tart finally came to an end as I hear some fumbling up the hallway accompanied by squeals of urgency as CH retrieves the TV from the study (we had banished the television a few months ago and it had been lying dormant for many months now.........of course if it was going to come out of circulation it could only be for a reason as good as this). As CH sets up the television in the lounge it is revealed that he had received a text from his cycling team mate informing him that the tour he had competed in recently was on television. I was then treated to a running commentary as we watched intently, waiting for a glimpse of CH to flash past on the screen.

All that is left it to do now is wait for his head to deflate.

Only wake me up for the important things

2009-10-17T18:43:00.003+10:00

I was briefly disturbed from my sleep in the wee hours of this morning by the tip tap tip tap of cycling cleats on our wooden floor as CH prepared for his daily ride (why he chooses to put his shoes on 30 minutes prior to departure time and traipse around the house I don't know?).

So while I am struggling to win the battle between sleepyland and awake, CH comes in, clearly inspects that my eyes are closed (usually an indicator that one is asleep) and proceeds to say 'Hey babe, how did you sleep?'. Confused, I open one eye, say 'Good', as my brain isn't functioning enough to ask why he is waking me up, only to ask how I slept. I lay in bed, puzzled by the recent happening, however the mystery is solved a few minutes later when it becomes clear that the sole reason CH woke me up was so that he could return shortly after and ask......'Have you got ten bucks I can borrow, so I don't have to go to the ATM,? It's for race entry."

Thief

2009-10-10T19:40:00.004+10:00

A sad day today...........As Old Red faithfully waited outside the shops for me today whilst I grocery hunted, Old Red was stripped bare as someone stole the stickers clean from his frame.

Birthday Joy

2009-09-20T10:53:00.009+10:00

I recently celebrated yet another birthday. In our house birthdays always remind me that CH and I are still working out the fine tuning on what is acceptable/expected on ones birthday. While I enjoy receiving a wrapped present on my actual birthday, (not an unusual request I would assume) and drop numerous hints about it, CH thinks that birthday presents are perfectly fine given to someone in the bag in which it has been purchased (often without the thought to remove the receipt prior to the gift-giving).

So while CH hasn't quiet mastered the well-known tradition of wrapping a present and writing a card for someone's birthday, he has managed to create a birthday tradition of his own. In a desperate plea to try and convince me to develop an obsession over cycling as great as his own, I will, without doubt, receive a bike related gift every birthday. A road bike, helmet, Hybrid bike, bicycle lights, Old Red and cycling shoes, just to name a few past gifts. So, each year leading up to my birthday, I ponder what else he could possibly insist that I require that is bicycling related? Surely I own everything I could possibly ever need to go for a bike ride? But alas.........there is always just one more thing a cyclists NEEDS. There is ALWAYS something more or something better that they could have.

My excitement could not be contained this year as I was handed a 99 Bikes shopping bag 2 days prior to my birthday and told 'Here's your birthday present'...............'Oh great!!! A helmet!' I reply. One especially purchased for my outings with Old Red.

Ah, but the cycling goodies didn't end there! After many nights of falling to sleep by the glow of the laptop rested on CH's lap, I finally got curious and glanced up to discover he had been putting many hours into designing a fixie for me on www.pedalmafia.com/mafid/mafia_id.html. This discovery stirred mixed emotions in me. While I love the fixie idea, my last experience on a fixie had me crashing into our car (which was parked in the driveway) and had CH in fits of laughter. So I have requested that my 'custom made fixie' actually be a 'custom made single speed' otherwise labelled by CH as 'a fixie in wuss-mode'. Four weeks on from my birthday and I am still yet to see my 'fixie in wuss-mode' in the flesh, however I do get daily MMS updates on the fixie build progress, so I can't complain. And after all.....it's the thought that counts right?

Next year I am going to put it out there and guess that I am about due for a mountain bike to fill that void in my cycling paraphernalia, maybe even a BMX? How can I convince him that a bottle of perfume is an essential cycling related present that I need?

Road Trip

2009-08-30T14:00:00.012+10:00

I have always loved road trips. They bring with them a sense of adventure, freedom and fun! They are a great opportunity to hang out together, driving on the open road with the windows down, wind blowing through your hair, consuming copious amounts of caffeine and singing at the top of your lungs.

So when CH and I decided to make a trip to visit family and friends I naturally got excited at the prospect of a road trip, however I forgot just how much road trips have changed since CH began cycling.........

The night before...............

CH spends the night before strategically planing a route which he can cycle that will get him part of the way along our road trip, he then calculates the exact moment which I will have to leave, along with very brief directions on how to get to where he will be. He then packs a bag containing all he will need and places this by the back door so as I don't forget to cart it with me in the car.

The morning of.............

CH removes himself from the bed an hour before I even intend on waking up, dons his lycra and is off.

An hour later I emerge from bed, get ready, and hit the road solo.

I miss the turn off I am supposed to take, which means I am running late. We are supposed to meet at 6:30, and at exactly 6:31 I get the call from CH asking where I am, as he is there waiting.

I finally arrive at the designated meeting spot and wait while CH dismantles his bike to fit it in the car and changes on the side of the road much to the delight of passing vehicles.

We finally begin the road trip together..................but it would seem that CH has worn himself out on his ride and within seconds is sound asleep, head flung back against the seat and mouth wide open, just waiting for a passing fly. So I am alone again on my fun filled road trip and I need to resort to putting on a mystery CD and challenging myself to how many songs I can learn the words to by the end of the road trip.

A couple of hours into the trip and I am in desperate need of a coffee, so I stop at a bakery. CH conveniently wakes up at this point, purchases food, eats food, falls back to sleep. I go back to my mystery CD challenge.

CH eventually recuperates and offers to do some driving. As soon as CH gets behind the wheel he is in the same frame of mind that he is in when he is cycling................All that matters is being first! The trip is a hair raiser. I make a mental note to be cautious about letting him drive.

Somehow we arrive safely and begin to visit family. It is great to see everyone, we are well fed, get to meet some new additions to the family and are sent on our way with a bag of delicious fruit and veg fresh from the garden and lots of love.

The return journey..............

A kilometre into the return journey, and I realise that it's all just been too much excitement in one day for CH as he returns to his earlier 'flytrap sleeping pose'. I realise that it's the mystery CD challenge again for me.

It's late and I am feeling exhausted as we pull into the driveway. While I unload the car, CH cares for his most prized possession, ensuring his bike survived the trip. As we head inside, me carting all the junk we have accumulated along the way and CH pushing in his bike, he pipes up to say.........................................'So, I think I did most of the driving today.'

Too tired to respond to this outrageous claim, I simply shook my head in disbelief.

Saddle Sore Sculpture

2009-08-25T16:18:00.003+10:00

CH likes to describe saddle sores as follows "It's when you ride so much that you wear a hole in your skin". I also like the description given on Fat Cyclist - A saddle sore is your butt’s method of asserting self defense - “Your honor, I killed him because he just wouldn’t quit beating on me, day after day, and then when that 75 mile road race rolled around, and he was supposed to go to Moab the next day.” http://www.fatcyclist.com/2007/03/21/the-sorts-of-saddle-sores-and-their-sources/

Saddle sores, of course, occur in an area on your body that you don't want to share with anyone other than your dearly beloved. This made things tricky at dinner the other night when one of CH's Cycling Buddies (CB) is trying to determine if he truly does have a saddle sore. CB was a virgin saddle sore receiver and was wanting confirmation that what he had was just a saddle sore and nothing to be concerned about. So CB decided to treat us all to a verbal description of his saddle sore. Upon completion of the verbal description CB was still not sure that he had painted a clear enough picture to gain an accurate diagnosis, so, he plucks a piece of feta from the salad bowl and begins using his spoon to carve out an exact replica of his saddle sore. At this point it all becomes clear to CH, who delivers his diagnosis - "Yep, it's definitely a saddle sore".
Thank goodness we had the saddle sore sculpture to clarify it all!

Who would have known there is such fine craftsmanship and pleasant conversations to be had at dinner with cyclists!

The Short Sweet Life of Chocolate Biscuits

2009-08-07T20:57:00.002+10:00

5:00pm - CH decides to grace me with his presence while I visit the supermarket to purchase onions and potatoes.

5:17pm - We reach the checkout with a whole basket full of goods - total spend $42.75. A sample of the selections made by CH included - Tim Tams, Squiggle biscuits, Red Bull and Ice Cream (you get the picture - he made the fatal mistake of coming to the supermarket whilst hungry).

5:19pm - Half a packet of Squiggle biscuits inhaled by CH. I request to partake in the joy of a chocolate biscuit and he reluctantly parts with one.

5:20pm - I polish off the last crumb of my biscuit, having savoured every mouthful.

5:22pm - In preperation to request another chocolate biscuit I turn my head to CH, just in time to see him place the last bikkie in his mouth, whole. Dammit - too late!

5:45pm - CH sets his sights on demolishing Chocolate biscuits #2 - the Tim Tams are open. I jump in before I miss out and ask that he saves me one.

6:00pm - CH uses all the will power he has got to stop at the last biscuit and put it back in the fridge.

The following day I develop a cold and don't really want to waste my one and only chocolate biscuit by eating it when I won't even be able to fully savour the smell and taste of it. I wonder if the Tim Tam will survive the day, with CH lurking around.

CH resists and the Tim Tam does survive the day, however, over the next few days CH becomes so disturbed by the lone Tim Tam, which he knows he can't eat, that he develops a name for the situation and cries out 'Damn you Tim Tamtation' each time he opens the fridge and discovers it still there.

The fourth day after the Tim Tam purchase - I can't bear to hear 'Damn you Tim Tamtation', anymore and I sacrafice my chocolate biscuit to make one man very happy.
CH gives in to Tim Tamtation, inhales it and wears a smile for the rest of the night.

It's the little things.

The Giant Lycra Magnet

2009-08-07T08:23:00.007+10:00

With an increasingly busy schedule CH is looking for ways to wisely use his time in order to try and fit everything in. It would appear that he has decided to try and kill two birds with one stone and has recently started inviting me out to 'join him for a coffee' of a morning, which is really just me crashing in on a post-ride coffee with all his Cycling mates. While it's truly great to catch up with all of his BFF's I just can't bring myself to ticking it off as us spending quality time together (much to CH's disappointment no doubt). While this method has not been successful on the 'date' front, it has been quite intruiging to be exposed to even more of the wierd and wonderful world of cycling culture.

This morning CH very kindly suggested we ride in to have a coffee in at South Bank (which I know really translaltes to - Lets go in and meet my BFF's for a coffee after their ride). So we head off - me on Old Red and CH on his Fixie, and very unsuccessfully tackle some hills along the way. Never the less we finally arrive at the coffee shop, park our bikes and head in to order. Initially there were a couple of cyclists filtered throughout, yet I could hardly believe what unfolded over the space of the next minute. It was like a giant lycra magnet had been placed in this coffee shop and within seconds there was a plague of cyclists feeding their coffee addiction and comparing ride notes....and surely enough among the group were CH's BFF's who we were fortunate enough to have join us on what CH would refer to as a 'date' (Oh the complex mind of a cyclist - so many blurred boundaries!).

Anyhow, while we enjoyed some good coffee and good company, that giant lycra magnet kept doing it's thing and tightly clothed people continued to arrive in herds. I began to feel a little like I was tripping as I took in the multiltude of colours and patterns that jumped out at me from this sea of cyclists - all in the name of keeping warm on the bike. I hadn't realised just how co-ordinated CH is in his kit, with the entourage of winter accessories that go along with it, until this morning. It was amazing and somewhat amusing to see the combinations of gear that people had on and the lengths that they go to to keep warm.

As our 'date' came to an end, we walked out and I rescued Old Red from drowning in a sea of road bikes parked outside, and an observant council worker took it upon himself to tell me 'Gee Love, yours isn't quite as flash as the rest of them is it?' I looked up at him and replied 'Perhaps not, but it does have a flame seat.'

Quote for the Week

2009-07-23T21:54:00.002+10:00

CH finally chose to wash something other than his kit today, and contributed to the greater good of the household by doing some washing. This is announced to me this evening in the following words.......

"I did some washing today! Cos that's what I do. The cleaner, that's what they call me!"

Pimp My Ride

2009-07-19T06:57:00.006+10:00

I often wonder if CH has convinced himself that he is on a daily episode of Pimp My Ride (bicycle style) as he strives to have the lightest, fastest bike known to man. The constant grooming, upcycling, and purchasing that is involved in keeping his bike up to scratch is phenomenal.

In more recent days, however, he has managed to peel his eyes away from his other love and set his sights elsewhere. I have been dragged into one of the delusional episodes of 'Pimp My Ride with the Notorious CH'.

I should have noticed the subtle clues that have been gradually appearing over the past few weeks...........new handlebars strategically placed in the vicinity of Old Red's resting place, random discussion about Old Red, suggestion of a few 'improvements', and then he hits me with it.........his grand plan to 'Pimp My Ride'.

While I am greatful for any attention that wavers in the direction of my bikes, I have become quite attached to Old Red just the way he is, and I did hold slight concerns that CH's idea of Pimpin and my idea of Pimpin may just not be the same. My fears were confirmed when he arrives home from work this week, and I knew he had a new purchase to show off, because he runs from the car to the back door on the days he has a new toy, and on the days he doesn't have a new toy.........well I am yet to find out what happens on those days! Anyhow....he appears in the doorway with a huge grin on his face and produces the most contrasting combination of bicycle accesories I have ever seen............a wicker front bicycle basket and a bike seat emblazoned with flames. 'Surprise!'

It was like country meets goth, Peggy Sue meets Hells Angels. It's Shania Twain out the front and Metallica out the back.

Unsure as to what kind of a concept CH was trying to achieve, I asked what he thought when he looked at my bike, now that it was 'pimpin', to which he replied........"It's RAD! I've still got more to put on though. It's gonna be pimpin.' And then, accompanied by an evil laugh, he says, 'Wait till you see the flame tires I have for you and the skull grips!'

With such convincing enthusiasm, I wondered for a brief moment if perhaps I had it all wrong? Maybe it does look okay? I guess there is nothing left to do but to rely on the response from the general public now, as I wheel around on the new and questionably improved Old Red.........or I could find someone else who can remove bike seats.

Choose Your Own Adventure

2009-07-08T20:41:00.005+10:00

Lately CH and I have been like ships passing in the night. With trips away, busy work schedules and visitors we have had very little time to just hang out and enjoy each others company, until today. Prior to today, CH and I had organised that we would both clear our schedules and hang out together. Unsure as to what we would do I asked CH for some suggestions.

Suggestion #1 from CH
"We should go to a cafe and watch the Tour the night before and then we can sleep in"

I explained to CH that I am feeling in desperate need of an amazing nights sleep, so a late night wasn't really on my agenda, and suggest that perhaps we could grab a DVD to watch earlier and then he could move on to watch the Tour.

Suggestion #2 from CH
"Oh yeah, we could watch a movie..........I've got some Mountain Biking movies we could watch"

Hmmm.......as tempting as that offer was I had concerns that CH could overdo it watching a Mountain Biking DVD as well as the Tour, so was able to gently persuade him to consider other viewing options. We enjoyed some quality viewing which didn't invovle bikes, and the suggestions for the following day rolled on........

Suggestion #3 from CH
"Lets go Mountain Biking tomorrow!"

At this stage I recognise that CH is die hard and will not let up until I participate in some form of cycling related activity - I would much rather participate than watch and I know that CH has been bursting to take McRad (His mountain bike) for a spin, so it is with great enthusiasm that I agree to go Mountain Biking.

We arrive at the Mountain Biking trails and CH chooses then to provide me with the following comforting news

a) He doesn't really know what he is doing as he has never ridden his MTB before and he is unsure as to where any of these trails go, so he isn't sure how long we will be or where we will end up.

b) The MTB that I am using (which is on loan as a demo bike) is a $6000 bike, so try not to break it. No pressure or anything.

Upon receiving this news it is with little confidence that I embark on my first ever Mountain Bike ride. CH led the way, shouting back instructions to me as I navigated the track a short distance behind him ('stay left', 'jump that log' - the second instruction resulted in me on the ground) and his luck struck again as he took us on a perfect loop, which ended up back at our starting point. The bike that I had was awesome (as you would expect from a $6000 bike) and after a few spills, grazes and lots of mud I was wondering why we had never done this before! It was RAD! The ride was completed with CH exclaiming 'Finally, a type of cycling you really like!'

CH surely needs to be credited 10/10 for trying to come up with ways to spend some QT together. He sure knows how to treat a lady ;).

The Return Home

2009-07-07T18:55:00.002+10:00

Having been away visiting family for the past week, I was keen to return and see CH and be back at home. Upon returning it's always interesting to see what CH has been up to and what the house is like, as it paints a picture of what went on in my absence..........

The folding that was sitting in the dining room when I left..........still there.
The chocolate that I left on the bench when I left.........gone.
The fruit and vegies that were in the fridge when I left.........still there.
The money that was in our account when I left.........spent (McDonalds, Grill'd, etc etc).
The bed that was made when I left.........a littering of bankets spatter our bed.
The tiny amount of washing left to do..........well the lycra's washed - the rest of it......still there

Ah, yes it's good to be home?? :)

Tour de No Telly

2009-06-30T08:11:00.004+10:00

CH recently got rid of the television from our house, in an effort to declutter our lives and have more time to do other things...........of course this has resulted in us having lots more time to do what else but cycling stuff! HOORAY!

However I recently realised that the Tour is fast approaching and am curious to see how CH will manage this without a telly in our house? Shall keep you posted as the saga unfolds.

2009-06-29T17:38:00.005+10:00

I did the trek to go and see CH at work today and as I walked through those great big doors there it was.............a bike I dream of...............A bike that is built for glorious comfort. Beaming out at me from the Schwinn range was this beauty......

I made sure that I didn't leave without making it clear that one of these would be warmly welcomed into our already over populated bike shelter.

OLD RED

Besides, I imagine old red must be feeling like the odd one out at our place and may need some company, as he is surrounded by road bikes and McRad (CH's latest addition to the collection). Poor Old Red is like a rose among the thorns.

Knickers, Knickers, Knickers

2009-06-29T16:08:00.000+10:00

Working with two and three year olds on a daily basis means that knickers are a fairly popular conversation point, whether it be them sharing which latest super hero features on the front panel or them simply quoting ‘Well I don’t like them, just cos, well they always give me a wedgie, undies do.’

I never thought knickers would feature so prominently outside of my work life until this week…………

With the rain clouds consistently delivering on their promise and providing us with a constant drizzle, it has been near impossible to keep up with the mountains of washing that magically appear around our house. As a result, clothing supplies have been running low, which proved to cause some trouble for CH.

Whilst he can easily manage to organize a clean kit for each day of the week, organization doesn’t extend to anything outside of cycling clothing. Each morning this week I have emerged from my slumber to be greeted with the mild panic of CH as he returns from his ride to discover that he has no dry or clean underpants left. The door opens as he makes his march out to the clothesline to retrieve a pair of knickers and places them in front of the heater on full blast to try and dry them in time to get to work. One would think you may learn after this happening once……..but this scenario was repeated daily with CH, who had it down to a fine art by Friday.

He survived the week without too much drama, until Saturday………….With wet weather, busy weeks and a slight lack of organization, we weren’t exactly spoilt for choice in the underwear department and CH has no choice but to drag out his very last pair of underpants and don ‘The Brown Hornets’, as they eventually ended up being called. Whilst at a race and changing from his kit back into normal clothes ‘The Brown Hornets’ were spotted by some of his Bike Buddies (BB’s) who were highly offended by the colour of these underpants and voiced this loud and clear through creating numerous ‘nicknames’ for the underpants and having a dig at CH. After being the ‘butt’ of a number of jokes due to his unfortunate undie choice, CH couldn’t get those knickers off quick enough when he got home.
I, of course was still wondering whether I should be more concerned about CH’s underwear choice or the fact that his BB’s cared so much about what CH was wearing under his clothes?

The weekend came to it’s grand finale with us getting ready to head out to a party. As I stood at the mirror blow drying my hair, CH appears in the reflection……….I look up and see his jaw drop, before crying out “We have a hair dryer! I can’t believe I have been drying my undies with the heater all week when we have a hair dryer. The hair dryer would have done a way better job!’

I guess we live and learn?

All in a Day

2009-06-27T08:48:00.000+10:00

Cuddle time stops at 4:30am as Cycling Hubby (CH) promptly vacates the bed to tend to his other true love.....the bike. CH conveniently returns once all the washing has been done, house vacuumed etc etc. He wreaks of coffee, as he truly believes he will not survive a day without a hit of caffiene and a few hours cycling. Once he has stripped himelf of his fugure-huggng kit and created yet another pile of lycra to washed, he is showered, dressed and off to work (at the bike shop), slapping a quick kiss on my cheek, and casting one last longing glance at his bike as he rushes out the door.

Upon his return from work, I wonder what will be tucked under his arm when he walks through the door........ a parcel, bike catalogue, wheel, perhaps a cycling magazine. Yet another thing to add to our house, which resembles a cross between a cyling shop and bike museum, rather than a humble home. After CH has overcome the excitement of his new addition, we sit down to dinner, which looks like a meal for four, however quickly disappears, thanks to CH going back for seconds, thirds, fourths etc. while I still work my way through my first helping.

As we retire for the evening and retreat to bed, the room comes to life with the dull glow of the computer screen as CH checks roadgrime, his cycling team blog, ebay and all the other cycling related websites that clutter our favourites panel. I put down my book and drift off to sleep wondering if it is at all possible for one to overdose on cycling?

4:30am.............the cycle begins again.