The Helmet Measurement

CH has discovered a new form of measurement within our household............

After days of nagging me to give him a haircut, CH came to me in desperation with his helmet on. As he points to his head he says 'Look at this! My hair is so long it pokes through my helmet! That means I really need a haircut. I can even see it in my shadow when I am riding.'

Tim Tamtation Take Two

After multiple coughing fits lastnight I was beginning to worry that CH was coming down with something. Upon closer observation, however, I find that the coughing fits only happen when CH opens the freezer. Trying to figure out the connection I recall placing a packet of Tim Tams in the freezer a few weeks ago. The coughing was simply to mask the noise of the Tim Tam packet while CH smuggled them away one by one.

Hoover

Due to an upcoming big race, CH has had to increase his training remarkably. This means riding before work, after work, to work, from work, during work and the occassional 3:00am rise and shine to go for a ride. He is squeezing every last moment out of every day to ride.

This means that sightings of CH in his natural habitat (our house)are quiet rare these days. While I don't see him in the flesh too often there are some very clear indicators that he is alive and well. Some of these indicators are....

1. There are 'lycra only' loads of washing appearing on the clothes line on an almost daily basis.

2. CH's mail can be found open and littered across the kitchen bench of a morning.

3. New bicycle parts continue to appear throughout the house.

However the most noticeable sign is that every time I open the fridge 90% of the food I bought the previous day has disappeared. I have done about 4 grocery shops in the last six days and each time I think, surely this will last us till the end of the week, only to find it is mostly gone by the following day. Surely one man couldn't consume such copious amounts of food alone? Could he? This question was answered recently as I was treated to a live show of 'The Hoover' in action......................

I was home alone one Thursday evening, when I saw the familiar flashing light roll up our driveway and knew that CH was home. He enters the house, puts the bike away and makes a beeline for the fridge, retrieving armfuls of food. I watch in amazement and within minutes I see a weeks worth of fruit disappear into CH's mouth. Like a vacuum cleaner to a filthy floor, CH vacuumed up 6 bananas, 2 mangoes, 2 apples, 10 lychees, 3 peaches, 2 nectarines and some blueberries. Whilst slurping in that last little blueberry, he turns to me and says 'So, whats for dinner?'

And so I learn that the more kilometres that appear on CH's bike odometer, the more dollars appear on the bottom of our grocery docket. A simple equation really.

The Passport Saga

It always fascinates me just how much of a motivator cycling is for CH. It's like this magic word you dangle in front of him, like a carrot, to get things done. I can ask, encourage, suggest and hint for something to be done and get zero results, yet as soon as cycling is involved things miraculously happen. And they happen with enthusiasm and gusto!

I have been 'encouraging' CH to renew his passport for quiet some time now and it always gets put in the 'too hard' basket for a few reasons
1. CH would have to actually make a trip to the post office to get a form - too hard.
2. CH would then have to fill in said form - way too hard. and
3. CH would then have to be organised enough to arrange an appointment to hand all the appropriate documentation in - definitely too hard.

As you can see the task is almost impossible and this meant updating the passport was out of the question. So I had given up on this passport dream, comforting myself with the knowledge that I had done my bit and CH would be the one suffering the consequences as I stood in the queue at the airport waving goodbye to the passportless him.

However just as I began to resign myself to the fact that operation passport will not happen.........CH was presented with an opportunity to race in an international race. It only took a single suggestion from a cycling BFF for CH to get over-the-top enthusiastic about accomplishing his long forgotten passport task. And the 'too hard' task was completed in the minimal amount of time, without any fuss.

Today I sat and smiled through gritted teeth as he read out the email he had just received stating that 'your passport application was processed and was on it's way.' Then finishes this off with the comment 'Lucky Cycling Buddy reminded me about getting my passport hey?'

Oh so lucky! Guess I will just always have to wonder what his face would have looked like as I jetsetted off solo?

n+1

I recently read a friends facebook status as follows and thought some of you may appreciate it..........

"n + 1 is how many bikes one person should own. Where the value of "n" equals the number of bikes one already owns."

CH Definitely lives by this rule. In fact, I am pretty sure his equation would be closer to n+4.
Always 'needing' another bike.

CH the Media Tart

CH earned the label of Media tart after 4 media appearances in a month. The story unfolds as follows...............

The month of the media tart all began when CH recently competed in a Tour, which spanned over a week in another state. CH and his team mates managed to make it into the local paper…..however I am not sure that it was for the reasons they wanted. The article mentioned their team for how ‘out of place’ they looked as they sat in a dainty café wearing Lycra, sipping tea and nibbling scones.

Strike two for the media tart occurred when a friend of ours asked if he could model some T-shirts for their upcoming business (watch this space for a preview to these awesome products). CH’s first thought – the bike, as he responds with ‘Do they want me to pose on my bike?’ followed by the quote ‘I charge more for nude shots’. Oh to be in demand like this!

Strike Three for the month of the Media Tart involved what CH referred to as an ‘Emergency Photo Shoot’ for a bicycle company. CH was called at the last minute to spend a day out with photographers getting shots for an upcoming ad campaign. Like his ego needed any more stroking at this stage?

The month of the media tart finally came to an end as I hear some fumbling up the hallway accompanied by squeals of urgency as CH retrieves the TV from the study (we had banished the television a few months ago and it had been lying dormant for many months now.........of course if it was going to come out of circulation it could only be for a reason as good as this). As CH sets up the television in the lounge it is revealed that he had received a text from his cycling team mate informing him that the tour he had competed in recently was on television. I was then treated to a running commentary as we watched intently, waiting for a glimpse of CH to flash past on the screen.

All that is left it to do now is wait for his head to deflate.

Only wake me up for the important things

I was briefly disturbed from my sleep in the wee hours of this morning by the tip tap tip tap of cycling cleats on our wooden floor as CH prepared for his daily ride (why he chooses to put his shoes on 30 minutes prior to departure time and traipse around the house I don't know?).

So while I am struggling to win the battle between sleepyland and awake, CH comes in, clearly inspects that my eyes are closed (usually an indicator that one is asleep) and proceeds to say 'Hey babe, how did you sleep?'. Confused, I open one eye, say 'Good', as my brain isn't functioning enough to ask why he is waking me up, only to ask how I slept. I lay in bed, puzzled by the recent happening, however the mystery is solved a few minutes later when it becomes clear that the sole reason CH woke me up was so that he could return shortly after and ask......'Have you got ten bucks I can borrow, so I don't have to go to the ATM,? It's for race entry."